Sourcing your leadership

I recently revisited a painful situation by meeting a colleague from the past. It brought me back to the day I was designed personae non grata in a country and had to leave. I realized how I had defined myself by a particular event, action, decision – not my own. I had become a victim in a big game well beyond my pay grade. I noted how I identified strongly with the political decision that resulted in unexpected negative consequences to the point where I became that perceived “wrong decision.” The disappointment and shame I felt about what I had interpreted as a mistake grew to the point of being a dominant part of my identity. I saw myself as a victim ashamed for not having successfully turned that decision around for myself.

However, there are no true right or wrong decisions. All decisions contribute to our development. They are an integral part of our existence but separate from ourselves. So a decision that doesn’t result in its intended outcome is not an illustration of character. It is merely an experience. We need to look beyond the decision/action and strive to understand why we made the choices we did, staying away from judgment, as we usually act on the basis of the best possible way forward in our mind at the time.

You have to remember that you cannot define yourself by your choices. You can avoid becoming your decisions by affirming that a bad decision was just an experience, and that next time you can choose to experience things differently. You are not your decisions. Your leadership is not the sum of your decisions – past, present or future. Your leadership lies within your character in dealing with these experiences.

Adverse circumstances

We all know that when the sun is not visible, it is shining somewhere else. Whether the clouds are blocking our views or the night has fallen, we know that the sun will return. We also experience periods of gloom and darkness that make us lose sight of the light, but hope is the promise of returned sunshine in our lives. Warmth and glowing rays have a way of brightening even our thoughts.

Under lockdown, in the midst of a pandemic, I have experienced life at a standstill. It seemed to have stopped all around on the planet. So I reached to the Universe for a sense of motion beyond my usual sense of boundaries to rekindle faith. Despite the general slowing down, there was just enough room to continue doing my work to attend to my activities, even in the absence of visible results. The war in Ukraine is yet another exercise in reaching deeper to stay the course while finding my light.

You may have come to discover in this darkness that actually light has started shining within. Whatever may occur around you, that source of light is never extinguished. Believing in your own light may take more time, but it glows even in the dark. Your light becomes the energy that connects you to the Universe. You can become your own sunshine, whether you feel its glow or not. Others will notice and enjoy your light as you lead the way.

Rewriting your story

Our wounds and traumas are beyond what we inherit in life. They reflect what is passed on from generations to generations, the family story, but also our own difficult personal moments in life. They are not necessarily meant to be healed or forgotten. The pain inscribed in the body physically, emotionally, and spiritually becomes over time our own architecture of compassion to relate to others and humanity at large: a window into what might become, a pathway to change against all odds, our groundbreaking work, our contribution to the world.

I always wanted to make a contribution. I embraced the world from a young age. I felt this urge to travel, learn languages. I slowly woke up to the desire to transform the collective, unspoken, perhaps hidden promises of a better world. I believe we are all emerging into a new post viral world in this life time albeit at various paces; a world which will look rather different in its outer forms than the one in which I grew up. But I trust that it will carry many of the tried and true, the ancient inner wisdoms and resources from my ancestors.

Have you noticed the re-emergence of inner powers: the power of attention and attentiveness, a renewed self-confidence translated into courageous speeches? Are you aware of the hidden courage waking up inside, kicking and screaming inside like a newborn? Could it be that having stopped your normal way during lockdown, you gave some space for the unknown to manifest and transform your understanding of the destination?

Have you stumbled somehow on the way to self-enquiry?

Leading the way towards a different Christmas

I am not looking forward to Christmas this year. This will be a Christmas without my son, who is stranded in another country, without a sense of gathering, without the madness of shopping in this busy time and preparing for some big celebration… Indeed… I can recall that this is the time of year where it is often easy to get caught up in family obligations, in the demands of hosting, or to feel lonely because everyone else is reunited and I have no family around.

We may have a very different Christmas, but it may not be that bad! We won’t have to lose track of our own needs as we devote our attention to the people, pets, and places we love. We may be able to take care of ourselves, to seek the light within. We may stand a chance to avoid feeling drained and out of touch with our energy level. We may just be lucky enough to find our way back to resourcing ourselves by ourselves, without the help of external drivers and the outside glamour to feel enriched and fulfilled.

This holiday season may just be what you need! You have a chance to integrate self-care to your schedule, to spend a full hour to let your mind wander, be it on your own or not. Even with close family around and the need to attend to the daily routine, give yourself the hour to go inside and let yourself dream of one thing or another, and restore your energy level thinking of what and whom you love.  This year has been about learning to take care of yourself, and it is time as the year comes to a close to celebrate yourself for it!