Leaders of the impossible

One of the most useful lessons I learned in my lifetime is that nothing is impossible. I grew up mostly on my own, as an only child with working parents, at a time when it was not rare to see children home alone, relying on the community around them to keep an eye out for them. I often came across issues that, as a child, seemed insurmountable. But with time and persistence, I came to realize that there is always a solution; nothing stays insurmountable for long; everything passes; and nothing has to be impossible.

I discovered three steps to overcome anything in life. The first one is to remind yourself and firmly believe that nothing is impossible, if you set your mind to it. It provides the necessary courage and persistence to move through your challenge.

The second step is to believe in yourself, seek within and realize the number of ideas that can come to you. Remember that you do not need the best solution. You just need a solution to try things out. You also need to act, to choose, so as to start moving beyond what is obstructing your path.

The third step is to look around and think of others. Enlist the support of your network, friends, and family. The more people thinking in the same direction, the more solutions can be found and paths created. You can also think of people who have turned adversity into success, and thus gain a larger perspective. Others can be a source of inspiration. In our darkest hours, we can always resort to the deep knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and there is no need to feel helpless. We have the resources to find our way out. We are created that way! Taking the first step is all it takes; the next ones will appear. Believing in ourselves, we will always prevail.

Leadership and parenthood

In my conversation on leadership with interested friends and colleagues these past weeks, I had a meaningful exchange that prompted me to reflect on the link between leadership and motherhood. I am writing today with that conversation in mind, hoping to contribute to my friend’s reflection on the subject. I recall writing in this blog how raising my son had helped me develop my leadership skills, but what specific skills in parenthood, and in what concrete aspects of leadership did parenthood prove useful?

Leadership is being redefined today to meet the demands of a workforce that is essentially seeking out in its job: personal growth, increased connectedness, and making a difference in the world. The new leadership paradigm is slowly shifting towards a socially responsible workforce in demand of greater diversity, equity, and inclusion. Recent research (https://www.potentialproject.com/nl/) seems to validate this analysis when it indicates that the key characteristics of effective leaders in today’s world are rooted in mindfulness, selflessness, and compassion. 

Parenthood is a tremendous asset in developing these characteristics. Mindful leaders combining focus and awareness are rare. We often encounter a distracted leadership, essentially on autopilot, self-absorbed by the nonstop demand on its time. As a parent, we hardly have a choice. Children will quickly see through an absent-minded parent, and demand a greater level of awareness. Moreover, research shows a propensity of leaders today focusing on self, rather than service to others with humility. As a parent, we hopefully discover early two key responsibilities: cultivating a sense of belonging and inclusion for the child to establish solid roots while, at the same time, providing inspiration for the child to ultimately take off and fly solo. Selflessness is core to parenting. As for compassion, it remains controversial as a sign of weakness when leadership still is often associated with strength. It is a mistake to associate compassion with softness. Parenthood teaches us that, on the contrary, compassion is rooted in courage and strength, accepting the need to have difficult conversations and make tough decisions for the benefit of the child. It is about giving feedback that may not be welcome, but that is required for the higher good of our children. As a parent, we get to experience and master the art of being unpopular with humility in service of someone else’s well-being.