Tag: humility

Leadership and humility

As a single mom, I have long led my life independently. I felt reassured to have full control over my decisions, and to decide for myself which way to go. It took me a long time to understand that I was under the illusion that I was in charge and could handle the responsibilities towards my son that I felt squarely on my shoulders.

I discovered that it takes a village to raise a child. We probably each come to realize in our lives that behind each one of us stands at least one person. In the past, we often looked to our spouse to be that person. Some of us had the helpful experience of realizing that this is not the exclusive role of spouses, and that we are meant to have many supporters to allow ourselves to do the things we want to do, to realize our dreams, to become ourselves fully.

Have you come to appreciate how life is perfectly orchestrated to bring the right people around you to get to where you want to go? Have you become aware of how you are yourself being placed on someone else’s path to support that person? As you take time to acknowledge everyone that has supported you on your path, and how many times you were there for someone else, you will gain an understanding and genuine appreciation for the amazing human support system that life is and, thereby, develop the much-needed humility that today’s leadership in a chaotic world demands.

In the absence of human leadership

In the midst of our pandemic, I have found myself at a loss to understand the world and find my way. Dumfounded by the type of policies, regulations that have come from various national and international leaders, I disconnected and reflected upon the best way to refocus. At local level, and within communities there have been some interesting efforts to develop some humble, compassionate, and creative approaches. It is nature, however, that responded best to my needs for guidance.

We share the planet with the animal kingdom and we can turn our attention to animal activities around us to get inspired. Finding ourselves staring at a bird soaring high into the sky, we may consider looking at our situation from a greater distance.  A squirrel stashing its latest prize may remind us of our hidden places for forgotten treasure. When we feel clueless facing our challenges, we can learn to turn to an animal messenger, trusting that the planet has some answers for us, opening to a different way to look at and solve our problems, humbling ourselves and letting go of timing. The Universe has its own rhythm and timing. The solution will come at the perfect time – not our time!

In this time of pandemic, you may wish to reflect on ants and bees around, reminding you that there is no survival as individuals. They survive as members of the group, through their respective, highly specialized roles within their communities, never wishing to be something other than what they are. They are a useful symbol of self-knowledge and humility, like individual cells in your body. It may inspire you to fully own your specific skills, knowing how they can benefit all of humanity. No one can tell you what to do but if you listen from within you will find how to best serve. The world needs your individual talents to be put at the service of a community, honoring the wisdom of ants and bees. 

Leadership and parenthood

In my conversation on leadership with interested friends and colleagues these past weeks, I had a meaningful exchange that prompted me to reflect on the link between leadership and motherhood. I am writing today with that conversation in mind, hoping to contribute to my friend’s reflection on the subject. I recall writing in this blog how raising my son had helped me develop my leadership skills, but what specific skills in parenthood, and in what concrete aspects of leadership did parenthood prove useful?

Leadership is being redefined today to meet the demands of a workforce that is essentially seeking out in its job: personal growth, increased connectedness, and making a difference in the world. The new leadership paradigm is slowly shifting towards a socially responsible workforce in demand of greater diversity, equity, and inclusion. Recent research (https://www.potentialproject.com/nl/) seems to validate this analysis when it indicates that the key characteristics of effective leaders in today’s world are rooted in mindfulness, selflessness, and compassion. 

Parenthood is a tremendous asset in developing these characteristics. Mindful leaders combining focus and awareness are rare. We often encounter a distracted leadership, essentially on autopilot, self-absorbed by the nonstop demand on its time. As a parent, we hardly have a choice. Children will quickly see through an absent-minded parent, and demand a greater level of awareness. Moreover, research shows a propensity of leaders today focusing on self, rather than service to others with humility. As a parent, we hopefully discover early two key responsibilities: cultivating a sense of belonging and inclusion for the child to establish solid roots while, at the same time, providing inspiration for the child to ultimately take off and fly solo. Selflessness is core to parenting. As for compassion, it remains controversial as a sign of weakness when leadership still is often associated with strength. It is a mistake to associate compassion with softness. Parenthood teaches us that, on the contrary, compassion is rooted in courage and strength, accepting the need to have difficult conversations and make tough decisions for the benefit of the child. It is about giving feedback that may not be welcome, but that is required for the higher good of our children. As a parent, we get to experience and master the art of being unpopular with humility in service of someone else’s well-being.

Presence and Leadership

“Who you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying.” Maya Angelou

For a few years already, I have offered posts in this blog about the unique contribution individuals can make to the world and the power we all have to impact our context and the international environment more broadly. I have devoted much attention to leadership skills and self-awareness to lead from a place of integrity. I have spent much time reflecting on our unique perspectives as individuals, based on our experiences, our desires and specific strength, on how we think, feel, and act. I also ventured into the power of vulnerability, investigating how our struggles, failures, weaknesses can become our strength and how our vulnerability can be the seat of our own power. I want to write today about our unique presence.

We have all faced situations where we are called upon to help another through difficult times. We are usually more at ease with concrete actions, be it running errands or meeting specific requests, but how to just “be there” for someone is far less obvious and usually more challenging. It is a matter of holding space for someone to express feelings or simply being silent, offering a safe place. We thus become a container for someone else to pour out the overflow or simply share what is too heavy. This is when presence becomes powerful. Our presence alone may liberate others.

Your presence requires steadiness, centeredness, stability, and benevolence for another to lean in, feeling free, safe, and supported. There is no real need to talk or do anything, just be responsive without taking the lead, but still leading by allowing the other to find balance and dictate the flow of conversation. Being aware and open, you can gently steer another to find a stable place and recover his/her own balance. This type of leadership requires humility and awareness. It rests on the ability to be non-judgmental and step out of the way, realizing that this is not about us, simply allowing for the process to unfold. This is a real gift from your part; one that has not yet surfaced and found its place in international settings.