As human beings we are called upon to take a significant number of decisions every day. Some may appear more significant than others. Yet all have the potential of impacting our lives. The mere fact that we have choices – some of us more than others – enriches our lives tremendously, and yet we may feel confused and challenged by the need to exercise our choices. I recall a discussion when my son was little about our ability to choose what to prepare for dinner often leading to disagreement. His caregiver would argue that offering less choice would save us time and disagreement. True, but I always believed in the importance of learning early to make decisions.
We are complex beings and the need to balance competing calls is inherent to who we are internally and externally, as we position ourselves vis-à-vis others and our surroundings. Whether it is balancing within or without (so to speak), decision-making lies in our ability to align our mind (thought process) and our feelings (emotional base) in accordance with our beliefs about life and the world, which are often inherited from family and society. As rational beings, we tend to minimize the complexity, often bypassing emotions and siding with logical decisions (mind over emotions.) This is reinforced by the fact that society favours the mind in the equation, and considers that overly emotional decisions are often irrational and risky. However, taking full account of both thoughts and emotions–feeling emotionally in line with our thinking process–ensures integrity. Taking action from a place of integrity depends on our ability to make choices from a place of balance.
As you practice achieving balance and make decisions that honor every aspect of who you are as a human being, I wanted to share a counter-intuitive tip. Refrain from making it easy on yourself. In fact, irritation is often an important advisor. It keeps you awake to what makes you uncomfortable. Turning the environment to your liking leads you to sleep walk through your decisions. Make decisions consciously. The point is not to control your environment. While there is merit in having some measure of control over your environment, do not eliminate irritants from the picture; they are the elements that will allow for patience, tolerance and acceptance that are so fundamental to reaching a balanced decision. May you look at the annoying colleague, the nagging child, or the critical partner with different eyes!