Leadership and loss of control

Leadership is often associated to being in charge, in command, and in control. Yet my most memorable leadership experiences have been when I lost control. Like many, over the years, I have envisioned myself going places, achieving a number of things. I developed visions and plans to get there. In fact, I was particularly good at it. But the hard part and where I truly learned about leadership was when life took me to places where I did not want to go – at least consciously. I would feel that something had gone wrong and that I made a mistake. My fault or not, this would always be associated with some disheartening possibility.

What if things going wrong were to take us to a place where we needed to go for reasons deeper than our own ability to reason? What if these detours and disruptions were necessary to shake us loose of an illusion of control? It usually takes something major to wake us up, and the point is rarely to go back to what we know, but rather to remind us that the way forward lies in what we do not know. How many discoveries were made by accident, changing the course of history? These major wake up calls soften us and make us vulnerable to the point where we can release our resistance and let go of control, of what we know and understand.

You may have visited this undesirable place lately, where your response to difficulty has prompted you to witness some of the patterns of behavior that come up unconsciously, unresolved emotional baggage that stands in the way of an easier life, a more joyful existence. It takes courage to face these moments, surrender to what is, and leadership to create a new path rather than return to familiar ways of being and doing things. You will only get a finite number of opportunities to change course and emerge transformed. What is true individually, also applies internationally.

Leadership and the unknown

As I look at the world today for the first time probably ever engaging in one single conversation called coronavirus, I am struck by the reality of facing the unknown. To me, this is an interesting opportunity to venture beyond the comfort of our normal life, beyond the safety of all that we have come to trust in this life. To many, this pandemic is a scary situation, which could strike nearly anyone and cause death for as long as there is no reliable medication or vaccine. To others, it is simply a pain, restricting their freedom. To a smaller number of people, this is an opportunity to do things they never have time to do or venture on a new path without a net. To me, this is the time to trust without seeing and enjoy life from a place of balance and support, even if I cannot tell what is coming tomorrow.

We may find it challenging to move without a safety net in life, like a tightrope walker. However, the net is a barrier to experiencing new things, protecting us from failing, if not falling, and ultimately an obstacle to the freedom of doing things differently. Change is inherent to life, and we spend so much time edging against the risks it entails. But what we have learned to trust can surprise us at any moment, and life presents itself again with a multitude of possibilities, all scarier than the other, and we feel alive again. Remove the fear from the equation with a net, and possibilities will shrink.

When you face the unknown and take a few tentative steps despite the fear, you discover that you can attract support into your life by simply trusting. You will meet a soft landing that you could not have anticipated. From this experience comes the highest and best experience of personal growth. It takes being willing to get past the fear of the unknown, the safety net you have relied on for so long, and to trust without knowing. It is a matter of knowing that you will always make the best from whatever comes your way. Trust in yourself to lead your best life.

Relying on your own knowing as a leader

In the midst of a crisis like the coronavirus pandemic, I have realized how I seem to rely on other people’s accounts to inform ourselves on the nature of a new reality. We cannot all be molecular physicians or scientists. I certainly depend on the knowledge of experts and benefit from their findings. At the same time, I am keenly aware of being the only one in charge of my own path. My sense of reality around me certainly takes account of expertise gathered, but it is only an important piece of the inner process that will guide my path.

We know how scientific, political, and other authoritative knowledge evolves over time and history reminds us that what was true centuries ago is no longer ruling the day. This is at the heart of evolution and it is the beauty of experiencing and learning as time goes on. Meanwhile, we are compelled to take decisions, make up our own minds about what to do facing our reality, and we are the authority when it comes to taking action. It is vital to check within ourselves with a critical mind whether what is handed to us as truth should guide our actions. This does not mean that we discount the information received from external authorities.

Ultimately you will have to decide whether you need to face adversity in order to save other people’s lives. You will decide whether to reach out to the elderly, transgressing external advice or listening to the voice within. You will discover that sitting with the situation presenting itself and the information gathered, measuring them alongside your inner sense of reality and your own experience and knowledge, you are exercising freedom and practicing an important integration process that helps you grow as a human being and a leader in your own life.

How to lead in the absence of gathering

Fellowship is crucial to humanity’s wellbeing. I belong to many small groups and thrive on gathering with like-minded individuals and being of service to people around me. At a time when real-life is interfering with our efforts to come together, nurturing or creating a sense of community will be essential. I believe the aspirations, interests and needs to come together will be felt increasingly, and I would encourage people to consider the importance of forming groups, gathering their tribe.

Forming groups is an invitation to companionship and camaraderie into a circle of support. You may feel driven to found groups around activities that can be managed virtually at a time when gathering is challenging. We may find that groups of like-minded individuals are inherently exclusive as they serve as a support network to those who have something in common, but leadership can help transcend the boundaries that might otherwise keep people apart. We need to cultivate from the outset an inclusive and diverse group open to engaging with others to ensure that the group will grow and thrive as a result.

You will likely come across the discouragement of seeing people reluctant to engage actively, waiting to see how the group evolves. The challenge will be greater in the absence of physical gathering. But intention will be key. You will be tested by others wondering whether you are truly committed to serving with your heart and soul. In fact, your vision and intention to serve will be the seed that will eventually grow into nurturing a community long beyond your own role in the inception of the group and even your own presence, staying true to its original purpose. The group will develop its own life cycle and evolve along the way for as long as it will remain coherent with its core purpose, and resonate with people and the environment. Leadership is about giving the impulse and keeping coherence and resonance alive.