Tag: path

Leadership by invitation

My latest leadership lesson I received this year from my elderly mother. Watching a loved one or even a peer traverse a path littered with stumbling blocks can be very painful. I find myself wanting to guide them and share the benefit of my own experience, my knowledge or wisdom. I have come to understand though that all human beings have the right to their own paths without the influence of others. Interfering in other people’s lives is denying them the enlightenment gained from drawing their own lessons. I had to accept that I may not identify with the choices of my mother, nor understand them, but she has the right to her own “mistakes”, her own way, her own pace.

Each one of us must earn our independence and gain illumination from making our own decisions. We have so much to learn from reflecting upon the consequences of our choices. Life is about choosing wisely. Understanding that each person must walk in their own way and at their own pace is necessary to lead wisely. Each one of us is unique and drawn to a different path. Yet we often feel tempted to direct the paths of others. Our egos convince us that we know better, often awaking a hidden craving for control within us. Beware!

If you feel compelled to intervene when watching another human being make his/her way slowly and painfully down a difficult path, try to empathize with his or her need to grow autonomously, and make his or her own way in and out of the world. Now people may ask for help and that is different. Indeed, you need a proper invitation to lead and share experiences, advice, drawing on your mistakes and wisdom. Watch for a cue though; do not over indulge. You may just need to provide the spark that will help others regain their balance to carry on their own path. To each their own. Remember that diversity is key to genuine leadership. 

Leadership and humility

As a single mom, I have long led my life independently. I felt reassured to have full control over my decisions, and to decide for myself which way to go. It took me a long time to understand that I was under the illusion that I was in charge and could handle the responsibilities towards my son that I felt squarely on my shoulders.

I discovered that it takes a village to raise a child. We probably each come to realize in our lives that behind each one of us stands at least one person. In the past, we often looked to our spouse to be that person. Some of us had the helpful experience of realizing that this is not the exclusive role of spouses, and that we are meant to have many supporters to allow ourselves to do the things we want to do, to realize our dreams, to become ourselves fully.

Have you come to appreciate how life is perfectly orchestrated to bring the right people around you to get to where you want to go? Have you become aware of how you are yourself being placed on someone else’s path to support that person? As you take time to acknowledge everyone that has supported you on your path, and how many times you were there for someone else, you will gain an understanding and genuine appreciation for the amazing human support system that life is and, thereby, develop the much-needed humility that today’s leadership in a chaotic world demands.

Relying on your own knowing as a leader

In the midst of a crisis like the coronavirus pandemic, I have realized how I seem to rely on other people’s accounts to inform ourselves on the nature of a new reality. We cannot all be molecular physicians or scientists. I certainly depend on the knowledge of experts and benefit from their findings. At the same time, I am keenly aware of being the only one in charge of my own path. My sense of reality around me certainly takes account of expertise gathered, but it is only an important piece of the inner process that will guide my path.

We know how scientific, political, and other authoritative knowledge evolves over time and history reminds us that what was true centuries ago is no longer ruling the day. This is at the heart of evolution and it is the beauty of experiencing and learning as time goes on. Meanwhile, we are compelled to take decisions, make up our own minds about what to do facing our reality, and we are the authority when it comes to taking action. It is vital to check within ourselves with a critical mind whether what is handed to us as truth should guide our actions. This does not mean that we discount the information received from external authorities.

Ultimately you will have to decide whether you need to face adversity in order to save other people’s lives. You will decide whether to reach out to the elderly, transgressing external advice or listening to the voice within. You will discover that sitting with the situation presenting itself and the information gathered, measuring them alongside your inner sense of reality and your own experience and knowledge, you are exercising freedom and practicing an important integration process that helps you grow as a human being and a leader in your own life.

Leadership lies within your story

Many of us enjoy reading a good biography. From Alexander the Great to the Great Catherine, I remember learning about a country through these voluminous biographies. Beyond historical figures, from people often in the news to complete strangers, everyone has a story. I recall my friend telling me how she loves taking the bus and engaging in conversations daily about where people are from. Indeed, we all have different paths and a fascinating story to share, if we take the time to listen, stay curious, and care to reach out to others.

Curiously, the story we least listen to is our own.  We do hear from family members and friends about episodes in our lives, but we rarely have this overall picture through our own biography.  Yet our path, the lessons learned, the choices made, the achievements, and even more the failures contributed to the unique perspective we have developed in life. It is a treasure trove waiting to be explored. 

In fact, your life may be your workshop to give – the path you developed to get through trials and tribulations, to enjoy different points of view (all yours!) from different periods of life. It leads you to greater awareness of who you are as a person. It also allows you to share because, in the end, your life is not only yours. It is your story to tell. It may help others, either through resonance or because of its contrast, comforting those who chose a different path. We each have something to contribute from the way we lead our lives.