Inner strength and leadership

So often in our world we think of inner strength as a leadership quality that arises from a place of firm determination, a will to succeed at all costs, a confidence that inspires and brings people along. My lessons learned in developing my own inner strength in life have taught me differently. I have often heard people mention me as a strong woman, which often mystified me. I came to discover that what is perceived as a strong woman lies with the ability to listen to one’s inner wisdom, one’s true self in any given situation. I came to understand that a woman does not need to step into an assertive role to act effectively. She needs to be in touch with her insight and sense of compassion to truly demonstrate the depth of her strength.

The challenge is that there is no instruction manual to get in touch with who we are deep down, tapping into intuition and listening to that inner wisdom. In fact, we are not born with it; it is a lifelong journey. We may have a number of predispositions early on, but we have to develop them–grow them–through self-discovery. The lessons keep coming, along with the mistakes and misadventures along the way. As we investigate the “why” and “how” through this active process, we write our own instruction manual.

You may think that your determination in pursuing your career, or your life’s work, buckling up and barreling down shows how to lead the way. However, it is less the goal and the end result that will show leadership than the feelings along the way when you want to run away and throw it all away in the face of despair. These feelings are what will make you look more at who you are and become more of who you are, no matter how uncomfortable and scary. When you’re tired of pushing something down or running away from it, you will express yourself fully and realize that you are not alone in this darkness, ultimately coming out, on the other side feeling stronger and wiser. This is resilience! Resilience is the secret to get to the treasure buried within, the energy and inspiration that will ultimately lead you forward, and allow you to lead others with insight and compassion.

Celebrate our quirkyness

I have long felt self-conscious about my differences, not quite fitting in my surroundings, coming from another country with a different background, speaking with an accent most of my life. I noticed over time how some of us have an easier time sharing their differences and preferences, while most of us tend to downplay our eccentricities–whatever we deem quirky. Society from education onwards tend to favor uniformity, and we have codes about what is socially acceptable. As a result, we may not realize how much we have attuned to our surroundings and done away with our special personality traits, intentionally or not. I certainly learned to conform from an early age and was mostly unaware of it until I started paying attention to leadership.

Leaders have usually learned to live without suppressing their eccentricities or rediscovered and embraced these buried traits. They understand that their idiosyncrasies are an important part of who they are. Should you are wondering about these special characteristics of yours, let’s try to think about what it is that you would love to do or be if you knew that you would not be judged for it. What would you take up for a hobby or what would you look like, given a bit more freedom and imagination?

You may be surprised at what comes up and what you discover about your suppressed peculiarities. Ask yourself what is stopping you from expressing this part of you and bring it out in the open. Try to incorporate this side of you into your daily existence. You may be even more surprised to realize that some people will appreciate you more for it than you might have expected. Remember that being your true self frees others up. Give yourself permission!