Tag: insight

Experiencing uncertainty

As I reflect upon the past six months, it feels like a period muddled and unfocused. I am actually unable to distinguish what I did. I can, however, reconnect with the feelings of it all. As I look to the next six months, I am already prepared for a period of fog, where moving through space and time without seeing much warrants slowing down, knowing that where I am going or where I have come from is unclear. I shall keep my eyes open for what emerges from the haze, and mostly feel my way forward.

We may be tempted to pull over and wait for the murkiness to clear. We may also look for the taillights of someone in front of us to follow and make our way along the road. Indeed, most of us prefer to see where we are going and keep steadfast in one direction. Yet there are gifts that come with the fog. Sometimes it takes something like fog to slow us down and think. Involuntary inactivity forces us to see beyond what we may look for, and it may even help us see that the fogginess is coming from within. In reality, we cannot see outside ourselves; the source of insight and light usually lies within.

You can continue to move forward cautiously in the months to come, but you cannot predict when the fog will lift. You can wait for guidance and hope for reliable taillights to follow. But you can also learn to listen for signs, harness your intuition and insights, and distinguish the noise around you from your own voice and clarity within. You will find clarity as you look for your next step, but certainty is becoming increasingly illusive. Let it not stop you. Being clear is all you need. Certainty never lived long anyway.

Inner strength and leadership

So often in our world we think of inner strength as a leadership quality that arises from a place of firm determination, a will to succeed at all costs, a confidence that inspires and brings people along. My lessons learned in developing my own inner strength in life have taught me differently. I have often heard people mention me as a strong woman, which often mystified me. I came to discover that what is perceived as a strong woman lies with the ability to listen to one’s inner wisdom, one’s true self in any given situation. I came to understand that a woman does not need to step into an assertive role to act effectively. She needs to be in touch with her insight and sense of compassion to truly demonstrate the depth of her strength.

The challenge is that there is no instruction manual to get in touch with who we are deep down, tapping into intuition and listening to that inner wisdom. In fact, we are not born with it; it is a lifelong journey. We may have a number of predispositions early on, but we have to develop them–grow them–through self-discovery. The lessons keep coming, along with the mistakes and misadventures along the way. As we investigate the “why” and “how” through this active process, we write our own instruction manual.

You may think that your determination in pursuing your career, or your life’s work, buckling up and barreling down shows how to lead the way. However, it is less the goal and the end result that will show leadership than the feelings along the way when you want to run away and throw it all away in the face of despair. These feelings are what will make you look more at who you are and become more of who you are, no matter how uncomfortable and scary. When you’re tired of pushing something down or running away from it, you will express yourself fully and realize that you are not alone in this darkness, ultimately coming out, on the other side feeling stronger and wiser. This is resilience! Resilience is the secret to get to the treasure buried within, the energy and inspiration that will ultimately lead you forward, and allow you to lead others with insight and compassion.

Leading from emotions

Today I want to talk about something controversial. When I developed my Creative Leadership Program, I had an interesting conversation with my coach about leading from a place of vulnerability. Indeed, among leaders and leadership coaches, the idea of leading through emotions is highly controversial. After all, ever since the century of Enlightenment, the mind is meant to be in the lead, not emotions. I have experienced a very different approach, which might serve the leaders of tomorrow.

Why did emotions get such a negative reputation? I wondered about this for a while and came to the conclusion that emotions, especially negative ones like anger, sadness, or frustration, can prompt us to lose control of our emotional state, hence this negative judgment. Indeed, powerful emotions can lead us to explode with little control over the consequences. Yet, have you ever observed the surge of energy that comes with anger or frustration, or the depth that surges with sadness? I would suggest tapping into this magma of energy to lead the way and saddle at the helm of our lives.

How, you might ask? Indeed, harnessing the power of our emotions at the height of their expression can prove difficult. This is where leadership skills are needed. We have that innate ability to feel the power of our emotions and transform that energy into healthy ways of expressing it. I have noticed how anger and sadness–possibly the two poles of the same energy–can be transformed into a source of inspiration towards bringing about the change we want to see in the world. It is no accident that having accumulated significant anger and sadness over decades, I came to develop a program on “Be the Change You Want to See” as a way to make a contribution to the world.

Similarly, you may be able to transform feelings of frustration and stress towards thinking outside of the box. Creative thinking and writing are often the result of frustrations about the way things are, and a way to discover solutions to what originally left us stymied. Perhaps the most challenging emotion to transform might be fear. The need to feel the fear and stay with it allows us to re-examine our circumstances rather than flee and find a different angle, likely to give us unexpected insight into our life.

Where might this transformative process lead us? I would venture to say that this type of leadership is based on the power to redirect the flood of emotions we all experience in life daily towards productive, artistic, or laborious pursuits. I might add that channeling our emotions into constructive action can also prevent us from re-creating and re-living the situation, event, or expectation that originally prompted us to feel negative. Essentially, this is the type of leadership that transforms the negative and spins it into positive by harnessing the energy of negative emotions. Could it be a way out of emotional pain? Indeed, pain is no longer fed by our intellectual and emotional energy once the energy is re-used and transformed. It quickly ebbs away. This type of leadership is neither conceptual nor intellectual. It is rooted in the practice of honestly acknowledging and honoring our feelings, leading from a place of vulnerability.