Leadership from the neck up

I do not know about you, but the culture I grew up in put the head over the heart. It was more important to use your brain to address issues and people, rather than give in to emotions.  The hierarchy between head and heart went even further in pointing to the fact that women tended to often react too emotionally, when it was perceived as more appropriate to meet new ideas from a level-headed perspective. Many around me seemed to disconnect from their emotions as a result, and to listen and respond, to give and take, from the neck up.

We are today suffering as a society from a mind-driven approach to most issues coming our way, from climate change to bedtime stories, devising strategies, making plans and taking steps to get anywhere according to a well-structured mind, which means ordering things through categories and boxing people in order to process information. This is essentially how we have survived as a species on earth. The mind is clearly a huge asset. However, we may have come to a point in our evolution where we need to rebalance and give our heart a greater say.

Have you noticed how barriers, divisions, and boxes crumble, melt, and disappear when you listen to your heart? The brain gridlock softens, and some new pathways open up. In our super connected world, new interconnectedness starts appearing. Try feeling your way around things, problems, and people. You may sense space between you and what you are confronting. This is the space you need to create something new. This is the path to a more compassionate world, which will tap more into the heart and balance out your brainpower.

How to show up for life?

I often felt that you can only lead from a place of power, that you are in charge when you feel your best, and that others follow when they feel your strength. I came to realize that the point is not to project anything, but to be authentic rather than powerful or in control. The way I walk into a room already says a lot about me. If I am holding back on my troubles I will walk into a room with my eyes down, or I will smile absent-mindedly. If I am hurting inside, I will lack the confidence to be fully present to my surroundings, even if I try to project otherwise.

When we show up for life, we are fully engaged with what it has to offer and teach, whether it is painful or joyful. Noticing how showing up and being authentic with our feelings allows us to attract what we need. When we need healing, we will meet with those who can help us heal. Whatever we may need, if we are connected with it inside, we will find the places, the people, and the opportunities that we need at that particular moment. When we show up for this kind of leadership, trusting in life, showing others how to attract what they need, we become alive and confident. This is the kind of leadership that will inspire others.

You can show up in life for what you are and master the ability to make things happen, whether or not you are in a position of strength, provided that you do not pretend, and that you are able to come forth through your vulnerabilities, as much as your needs, curiosity, and passion. When you show up for yourself in life, the universe will show up for you!

10 Ways to tap into your leadership potential

These past few years I have written at length about leadership from various angles: what I discovered from my own experience, what I have observed around me, what may be more relevant for women, and what I have come to understand. In helping others develop their own leadership skills I have discovered 10 ways to tap into your leadership potential. Let me share with you today the following tips:

  • Be clear and deliberate. Do not get caught up in details and slow down – enjoy the ride in life!
  • Stay connected to your own voice. It is essential to be anchored from within. Develop a solid sense of self. 
  • Make sure you can stand silence, and seek moments of stillness away from noise to remain in touch with yourself.
  • Give support to others through connections, even if only your presence.
  • Nurture your ties to your community. If you do not have a tribe, create one: friends, neighbors, colleagues, loved ones. You need others, their support, guidance, and companionship.
  • Choose carefully what you let into your space: i.e. people, information, vibrations, food, noise.
  • Be mindful of the beauty around you and all that makes your heart sing.
  • Look at the big picture and realize that your approach to life is one of many. Widen your perspective and open up to other views, cultures, and ways of doing things.
  • Keep on your toes and challenge yourself. Avoid routine. Life is never dull.
  • Be active: your body needs movement and you need energy and vitality.