Tag: emotions

Leadership versus “going it alone”

There is something very special about seeing an old friend coming back into one’s life. I received a message recently from an old friend from high school, who found me through social media. Thirty years may have passed since our last encounter. I was as startled as if a ghost had visited, and a rush of joy as if I had lost a precious gift and found it again.

Every person that passes through our lives makes a contribution; some are brief appearances, others significant challenges, but many add to our life stories. When fate brings old friends back into our lives, there is always a reason or some meaning. It helps reconnect with a part of us we may have forgotten, bringing a missing piece from our lifelong puzzle, a part of us we lost and needed to nurture, another opportunity to address an old situation to move forward.

If this hasn’t yet happened to you, you may be meant to initiate the experience and reach out to an old friend. Be sure to look beyond the surprise of the moment to grasp the deeper meaning this gift reveals. You may realize how we are not meant to discover our path on our own. It is through connections and reconnections that we find our way. Leadership isn’t about going it alone.

Adverse circumstances

We all know that when the sun is not visible, it is shining somewhere else. Whether the clouds are blocking our views or the night has fallen, we know that the sun will return. We also experience periods of gloom and darkness that make us lose sight of the light, but hope is the promise of returned sunshine in our lives. Warmth and glowing rays have a way of brightening even our thoughts.

Under lockdown, in the midst of a pandemic, I have experienced life at a standstill. It seemed to have stopped all around on the planet. So I reached to the Universe for a sense of motion beyond my usual sense of boundaries to rekindle faith. Despite the general slowing down, there was just enough room to continue doing my work to attend to my activities, even in the absence of visible results. The war in Ukraine is yet another exercise in reaching deeper to stay the course while finding my light.

You may have come to discover in this darkness that actually light has started shining within. Whatever may occur around you, that source of light is never extinguished. Believing in your own light may take more time, but it glows even in the dark. Your light becomes the energy that connects you to the Universe. You can become your own sunshine, whether you feel its glow or not. Others will notice and enjoy your light as you lead the way.

Leadership from the neck up

I do not know about you, but the culture I grew up in put the head over the heart. It was more important to use your brain to address issues and people, rather than give in to emotions.  The hierarchy between head and heart went even further in pointing to the fact that women tended to often react too emotionally, when it was perceived as more appropriate to meet new ideas from a level-headed perspective. Many around me seemed to disconnect from their emotions as a result, and to listen and respond, to give and take, from the neck up.

We are today suffering as a society from a mind-driven approach to most issues coming our way, from climate change to bedtime stories, devising strategies, making plans and taking steps to get anywhere according to a well-structured mind, which means ordering things through categories and boxing people in order to process information. This is essentially how we have survived as a species on earth. The mind is clearly a huge asset. However, we may have come to a point in our evolution where we need to rebalance and give our heart a greater say.

Have you noticed how barriers, divisions, and boxes crumble, melt, and disappear when you listen to your heart? The brain gridlock softens, and some new pathways open up. In our super connected world, new interconnectedness starts appearing. Try feeling your way around things, problems, and people. You may sense space between you and what you are confronting. This is the space you need to create something new. This is the path to a more compassionate world, which will tap more into the heart and balance out your brainpower.

Inner calm and leadership

I moved into a brand new office space about a year ago. I have been struck at people’s reaction whenever I have meetings in this office. So often, I hear the very same phrases: “oh it feels so nice in your office; it is calm and peaceful here; I love coming to your office.” I wondered what it was in this office that had such an impact on people. Our work environment is highly stressful, with a pervasive state of uncertainty when it comes to people’s future in the organization. I have developed an ability to maintain a sense of calm in the midst of the surrounding chaos. People seem able to feel this calmness just coming to my office, as if it was activating their own sense of calm.

We all need to be able to reconnect with our sense of calmness to function in this world, and I have come to realize that in today’s chaotic world, people are looking at those of us who can connect to this inner calm to cope themselves, and lead the way for others to weather the storm. People are increasingly caught up in either emotions throwing them off when disturbing news come their way, or unrelenting thoughts about what might happen next. Both emotions and thoughts activate each other in a vicious circle that get them confused and helpless in the face of external challenges, even if this does not (yet) affect them directly.

It should be helpful to remember that you do not need to fully understand what is happening around you, nor to anticipate what will happen to you in future. You only need to locate the stillness within, at the center of your heart, to find composure in most situations. You only need to find peace with what is happening, let it come without resistance, and let it pass. Leaders have an innate clarity about that process and the place within, which can help others recognize their own.