Tag: thoughts

Fear of failure

The fear of failure is a common experience that can be changed. Everyone has fears and they exist for a reason. Fear is an important mechanism to protect us and help us deal with a potential danger. The challenge is that fear may keep us from participating fully in life and venture outside of our zone of comfort. We have to realize that fear shows up by anticipation, based on previous experiences, not only as a response to real and present danger. Fear is based on thoughts that are stored and used as data in our mind to elicit certain responses. Once we realize the mechanism, we can choose to hack our own computer of a brain, and trigger a different response. We can always generate new reactions, new brain connections by choosing new thoughts. 

What if failure was a good thing?What if failure was a way to learn and innovate, a technic to master (fail, fail and fail better), a path towards mastery. I remember thinking that failure should be taught in school. There are so many things to learn from failures. It leads to a gradual process of reconquering lost ground to be repeated over and over again towards success, like a child learning to walk – falling time and again – until he or she finds balance.

You may feel that you stand out when you fail, that all eyes are on you, and nobody could be as bad as you. These feelings are common, but you can overcome them, especially if you disconnect the fear triggered by the thought of failing. When you learn to observe your thoughts and their connections to the way you feel, you can find a way to change the feeling around the thought of failing. Think and feel the positive charge around failing. You will gain freedom, no longer ruled by the fear to fail.

Inner calm and leadership

I moved into a brand new office space about a year ago. I have been struck at people’s reaction whenever I have meetings in this office. So often, I hear the very same phrases: “oh it feels so nice in your office; it is calm and peaceful here; I love coming to your office.” I wondered what it was in this office that had such an impact on people. Our work environment is highly stressful, with a pervasive state of uncertainty when it comes to people’s future in the organization. I have developed an ability to maintain a sense of calm in the midst of the surrounding chaos. People seem able to feel this calmness just coming to my office, as if it was activating their own sense of calm.

We all need to be able to reconnect with our sense of calmness to function in this world, and I have come to realize that in today’s chaotic world, people are looking at those of us who can connect to this inner calm to cope themselves, and lead the way for others to weather the storm. People are increasingly caught up in either emotions throwing them off when disturbing news come their way, or unrelenting thoughts about what might happen next. Both emotions and thoughts activate each other in a vicious circle that get them confused and helpless in the face of external challenges, even if this does not (yet) affect them directly.

It should be helpful to remember that you do not need to fully understand what is happening around you, nor to anticipate what will happen to you in future. You only need to locate the stillness within, at the center of your heart, to find composure in most situations. You only need to find peace with what is happening, let it come without resistance, and let it pass. Leaders have an innate clarity about that process and the place within, which can help others recognize their own.