Tag: choice

Leadership and stillness

In the past few months, given the pandemic and teleworking, I have had the luxury of trying to spend a moment by myself in the quiet space of my home every day.  Doing nothing, sitting in stillness… I have been amazed at how challenging this has proven to be. There is always something to do at home, be it the laundry, the dishes, whatever else. The distraction is constant. For some it is children and other people in the house, for others it is chores and screens.  

Our lives consist of everything we engage in, from showering in the morning to sleeping at night and everything in between. It is a race: do, do, do… Basically, we make sure that we are so distracted that we keep away from looking at our lives. Why do we do this? Because of that little voice that may question how we run our lives, the choices we make. Sometimes that little voice reminds us of that dream we once had. It is uncomfortable. In our busy lives, we have become out of practice when it comes to connecting with ourselves. 

You may have noticed how unnerving it is to have a moment to yourself. As a result, you stopped trying to carve out that time to take a seat at the center of your life. You prefer to watch a movie, read a book, reach out to a friend, or have a relaxing time with your partner and consider it your time. Reconnect with that little voice and feel how you have been avoiding it. It knows much more about your way forward in a world where everything is crumbling. Little makes sense and disinformation is everywhere. Leadership is not out there; it comes from within.

Motivation will get you far

One of the leadership qualities I often lack is motivation. How many times did I approach a competition without the necessary motivation? I have often wondered and looked into motivation over the years, and I would like to share with you the formula I discovered to raise your motivation. The good news is that it is a skill that can be learned, according to some empirical research. So here is how you can shift the quality of your motivation, achieve your goals, and thrive. You need three ingredients:

1.              Create a choice: You need to perceive that you have options within boundaries and you are not obligated, but rather in control of your actions. Motivation will die the minute you feel that something is imposed on you and you are the victim. This is why diet does not work… the minute you tell yourself that you cannot have that piece of chocolate, your choice is gone and the motivation with it! To create choice, you just have to ask yourself: What choices have I made to reach this point? What choices do I have in order to move forward?

2.              Create connections: You need to connect your goals and actions to something meaningful, a sense of purpose that contributes to something greater than yourself. You will have to find a meaningful reason for pursuing that goal beyond external rewards, pressure, or fear. We all need to create connections to feel a sense of belonging and genuine relationships to others. The question here is: Why do I want to achieve this? How meaningful it is to me and others?How meaningful is it to carry on with this diet?

3.              Create competence: You need to link your goal to how this is helping you grow and learn. Competence is more than getting the job done. It is about feeling effective in managing your daily tasks, demonstrating skills over time, and a sense of growth and learning. This is why it is hard to maintain a diet. You focus on the outcome rather than the growth and learning experience, emphasizing progress, rather than beating yourself up over not being perfect. The question here is: What have I learned?

Notice when you create choice, connection, and competence, you feel a greater sense of well-being. On the flip side, when choice, connections, and competence diminish, you feel pressure, stress, and fear or frustration. You may still achieve your goal, but it will be at a high cost to your health and well-being. Whether you wish to lose weigh, prepare your tax return, get a new job, or stop a bad habit, you need motivation! This is one aspect of leadership in your life.