If you want to be a leader try to become a storyteller

 I became aware last year of the power of storytelling. Our children have a way to show us the impact of a story, but we often diminish its role: this is just a story! What a shame… Children know best.  I believe storytelling has a powerful transformative ingredient worth remembering and considering, as we try to make changes around us or within our lives. 

We often carry on with life wondering how to get out of a situation where we feel stuck. We may even give up. We may yet realize that whatever may be the situation, it is always the result of choices we made consciously or unconsciously. We may even know deep down that this realization is the best way to take one hundred percent responsibility in how we feel and understand that, as a result, we have in us the power to get out of it.  Despite this awareness, we may have lost the ability or never consciously learned how to affect change and get out of our “stuckness.” This is because we have lost track of the link between where we are and the story we have been telling ourselves. 

Let us say that you have been telling yourself that you always fail… or you simply fear failure based on past experiences; this will block your ability to succeed. But you have the power to change the story you have been telling yourself. Listen to children changing their stories to get to the result they want… it is that easy! Acknowledge that you have been trying hard and did your best, spelling out all your actions and qualities, remembering the fine moments on your path. Then redress towards where you want to go. In doing this kind of work, you make it possible for a positive story to emerge, and for you to get out of a stuck place. Enjoy going after your new story for 2020!

You are important

I grew up as an only child in a lonely home with working parents. School and books became my refuge. I often felt insignificant with belittling beliefs to keep myself safe and make sense of confusing and challenging situations. I felt unseen, unheard but could not relate it to the lack of attention from the people around me. It was more palatable to see something wrong with me. At some level, I felt that my life did not really matter. I was invisible, but that did not prevent me from exploring the world in my imagination and later in real life.

As adults it can also be easy sometimes to buy into the illusion of our own insignificance when we look at the world and feel so powerless to change anything. We are surrounded by celebrities, powerful people, and we may conclude that fame and material power confirm how little our lives amount to. Compared to the suffering of people in places like Syria, we may decide that our challenges are small. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. Every single one of us matter and all our challenges matter. We tend to forget how our very existence affects countless people around us in countless ways.

You are important and your life matters because you are a microcosm of a larger whole. Your life is a piece of a puzzle connected to a larger universe where your internal experiences affect the whole of life around you. In reality, life organizes around you! This is a shift of perception around your impact in the world that has the potential to affect your life in profound ways. You may discover a creative power you never knew you had, and generate energy to connect with the world in a different way. This is a different basis for leadership in the world.

Presence and Leadership

“Who you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you are saying.” Maya Angelou

For a few years already, I have offered posts in this blog about the unique contribution individuals can make to the world and the power we all have to impact our context and the international environment more broadly. I have devoted much attention to leadership skills and self-awareness to lead from a place of integrity. I have spent much time reflecting on our unique perspectives as individuals, based on our experiences, our desires and specific strength, on how we think, feel, and act. I also ventured into the power of vulnerability, investigating how our struggles, failures, weaknesses can become our strength and how our vulnerability can be the seat of our own power. I want to write today about our unique presence.

We have all faced situations where we are called upon to help another through difficult times. We are usually more at ease with concrete actions, be it running errands or meeting specific requests, but how to just “be there” for someone is far less obvious and usually more challenging. It is a matter of holding space for someone to express feelings or simply being silent, offering a safe place. We thus become a container for someone else to pour out the overflow or simply share what is too heavy. This is when presence becomes powerful. Our presence alone may liberate others.

Your presence requires steadiness, centeredness, stability, and benevolence for another to lean in, feeling free, safe, and supported. There is no real need to talk or do anything, just be responsive without taking the lead, but still leading by allowing the other to find balance and dictate the flow of conversation. Being aware and open, you can gently steer another to find a stable place and recover his/her own balance. This type of leadership requires humility and awareness. It rests on the ability to be non-judgmental and step out of the way, realizing that this is not about us, simply allowing for the process to unfold. This is a real gift from your part; one that has not yet surfaced and found its place in international settings.